It is 10:32 AM, and all morning so far, despite my heavy med regimen my anxiety has been intensifying and festering and now I just want to weep.

But the tears won't come-they are just...stuck behind my eyes.

I called my pyschiatrist and therapist's office really really needing to talk to him as I am becoming unhinged..

Just took my mid morning meds, I am going to the store now, I ought to go fir a walk but my physical pain, my lack of stamina, the sunshine, the heat..

Excuses.

Don't want to be in my apartment, don't want to be out in the world...

I know so, so many times I have frantically left crazy messages fir Dr.S ( when he had a personal voice mail) and he hadn't been able to call me back until the very end of the day, usually by then my anxiety will have abated, although I would generally still be plagued by my OCD, but his perspective was always that,"Your anxiety is usually worse in the morning, and by the time I talk to you you are feeling better."

He also over the years has kept reassuring me that,"Your adrenaline will eventually drop "

But in these moments where all I feel is a heavy weight on my chest, looping maddening thoughts, clenched jaw, upset stomach, avoiding food...( Not only due to my struggle with anorexia, but that anxiety simply robs me of an appetite.)

I just have a lot of trouble ( despite being saturated with DBT over the past few years) " being in the moment "...

I dunno if I am posing a question here, sharing I guess...

I am sending you all only serenity...

❤️🕊❤️

I'm sorry that you're going through a hard time.

I don't struggle with anxiety but have felt anxious from time to time. I understand the need to cry but can't and normally I am an overly sensitive and emotional person. I understand climbing the walls and wanting to leave my apartment but not want to leave it due to other issues. Heck, maybe I do have anxiety, I don't know. I don't have a therapist or real life friends to talk to. I struggle alone. I'm grateful for MHH Though.

I pray that you will feel better soon.

Is there anything you can do to help you? Exercise, music, etc

Sorry that you feel so anxious @Autumn75 I hope thta you managed to leave your apartment.

It sucks that you’re going through such a hard time but it’s good that you are able to reflect and acknowledge that you are not feeling okay. The medication, walks, contacting people can be overwhelming tasks but you did that! I’m proud of you.

In terms of the adrenaline comment, I think that they are referring to the ‘ride the wave’ model. The model is used in addiction but can be applied to other mental health diagnoses where there is a point where an emotion is heightened. Your body won’t stay in that flight or fright feeling forever and you have to ride the wave until it inevitably comes down. However, it can feel painful and never-ending when it’s like that, especially if the usual techniques don’t work and it feels like crisis.

Please let us know how you get on and when it improves for you!